Why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practise.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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Do you know why i dont write poems Because i thought that violets were violets OTARTS...WAS...HERE

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Want to hear a scary story?' I was droppin a two ball and the monster walked in

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

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why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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How do you sink a Polish submarine? Hit it with a torpedo.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head on into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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