Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

4 hours later.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops