Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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Wat do u call a priests shit Holy shit

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

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If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops