Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you cure a person that claims cannot say no to anything? Treatment: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! BUAHAHAHAHA! Patient: NO I CANT!!! You care cured! *opens door* NEXT!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I met a muslim girl the other day Shes the bomb

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a doctors and said, “Doctor help! My arms have stopped working” to which the receptionist replied, “I’m not the doctor and you need to make an appointment.”

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops