What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

G

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call white trash Garbage

thumb_up thumb_down +21

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A 21 year old man walks into a bar. After looking at the menu for a minute he orders the cocktail of the day. The bartender looks at the man in disbelief because he has such a baby face and looks like a teenage kid. The bartender politely asks to see his ID. The man pulls out his wallet and shows him his drivers license. Sure enough he was the legal age of drinking. The bartender says "Thank you" and gives him his beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

2 guys shot up a morgue..... 13 bodies remain dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops