what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

What do you do to someone you hate very much? You kill them.

what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

Your momma's so fat...

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What do you call a black man and woman with a little white girl? A Family.

Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

What's the difference between a duck?

Gale swallows.

How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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