-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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yeyeyeyeye live action

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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How many people buried in a cemetery are dead? All of them.

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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João Duarte reads this.

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Why did the teenager turn in his work on time? He chose not to procrastinate.

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diarrhea.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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