You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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WNBA

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So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, 6 being the highest how confused are you?

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A man rode into town on friday and left on friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a week

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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A man walks into a doctors office He has AIDS

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Theres an app for the iPhone.

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops