- Anti Joke

what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

What did the blond say to the ginger Stop drop and roll your hairs on fire

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? This joke.

why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

Chicken

why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

A priest, R Kelly, and Michael Jackson walk into a bar. They proceed to molest small children.

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

you dint have to be a jew matt

Q: What does a gay horse eat? A: Cheese

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

Why was the little boy nervous about playing with the little girl? Because she had gonorrhea.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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