Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken. How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower. What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection. What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I'll tell you in a second. What's pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan. -S

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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Why did Lisa spill her drink? Her plane crashed.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What does an Ethiopian hula-hoop with? A Cheerios JimBoto

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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poopy is poopy

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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Ian's mind Elevator music

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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What worse than finding crap on the road? Tripping over and landing on it.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What happens when you light a truck full of babies on fire and drive it off a cliff filled with lava and set off explosives when they land? The babies die. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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1+1=2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops