How did the teenage mother get her baby to stop crying? Multiple stab wounds to its throat

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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Albert your flies undone.

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ecks! why zee?

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Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

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Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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