They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

Why did the blond check your phone? AIDS

Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

Your mother is so fat that when she jumps into a pool, she displaces a proportionately larger amount of water than people with normal body mass indexes or BMI

ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

My name is Corey, and I am Dickbang Majestic. Q: Who is Dickbang Majestic? A: Corey is.

What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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