Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When you try to go to anti-joke.com but get redirected to Horsehead Network...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats the answer to life? im not sure

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is the average lifespan of Black men in the U.S. only about 52? Hundreds of years of oppression and a lack of nutritional, liberal, and vocational education have put them in a position where gathering the resources necessary to live a healthy and safe life are greatly is incredibly difficult.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear walks into a bar. Animal control was contacted and the bar was evacuated.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops