When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

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NO IT IS MINE! ALL MINE!

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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Knock Knock *Opens door* Hi John, you got here right on time!

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

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Women

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Interupting Doctor? Interupting Doc... You have cancer

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Mitt Romney

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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