Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

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Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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How did the woman get pregnant? She was thrown into a pool filled with semen.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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