sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" Surprised, the grasshopper replies, "You have a drink named 'Bob'?"

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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Why do skinny women eat their food fresh cooked? So that they don't contract food-borne diseases and risk dying.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, Im very sorry.

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monekey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the girl fall of of her bike? She was hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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