How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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what do you call 10 dead babys lunch

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Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven threatened six's family after insinuations of seven being a cannibal.

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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There were two chippendales in a bar - what were their nicknames? Chip and Dale

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Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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A blind man accidentally walks into a gay bar. The bartender escorted him out and pointed him in the right direction.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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