Why was David sad? Because he got his head stuck in a window.

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Why did the man put his money in the freezer? hes retarded.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A blind man cant see this joke, so I probably shouldnt write it..

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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what did the dog eat for dinner? food.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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nothing

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Oh s***

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Q-Jetski A-How is olive oil made?

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What did the deaf guy get for Christmas? An iTunes gift card

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? Firetruck. What starts with P and ends in ORN? Popcorn. What starts with S and ends in HIT? Shit.

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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A black man and a Mexican man are both in a car. Who's driving? The white man who is also in the car with them.

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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Your mom showed up at my house last night. I kindly greeted her and asked if I could help her with anything.

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how many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 283,000,322,249,390

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What happened when they asked Steve if he was feeling blue? He confessed and went to prison for a long time for molesting that poor dog.

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Jeff comes home from a long day at work. As a result he is very tired. So, he decides to go to bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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