Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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Mogok Papiti.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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