how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

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a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What did Sally get for Christmas? Who's Sally?

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What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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Knock knock Who's there? The Land Lord The Land Lord who? I am here to evict you.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Your dad isn't gay...but his boyfriend..HES REALLY GAY!

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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knock knock Goodbye

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

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Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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