what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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what do you call a woman who has sex for money? smart.

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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Yo mama is so fat, she needs to get serious about her diet, or else she might die of some sort of weight related issue.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Why do the lesbians where pants? Because they are extremely comfourtable and the best for cold days

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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DILDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's wet and sticky? I don't know, glue or something.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops