A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

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Are you kidding? If you can slow down time when stressed, then that means that your perception of time is, well... Oh relative, but still wow! What about now though? Can you do it? And for curiosity`s sake, what if you jumped off a roof? Would the stress make it all really slow?

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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How do you kill a black man? You cn coz he'll beat you up first

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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