A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

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A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? A school bus

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-how many potatoes are in a sack -5

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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What's worse than being single on Valentine's Day? Finding out your son has AIDS.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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Why did the black man have a Lamborghini in his garage? Because he got good grades in school, was accepted into a nice college, and earned a medical degree, which he used to get himself a well-paying job in the medical field.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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what goes woof ? A dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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