An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Walking.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? reading posts on this website that arent antijokes. Seriously poeople... you cant just say something that random than put something tragic. it has to be funny and tragic.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What is not funny Bad jokes!????

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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What amusing anecdote did the Department of Educational Dictations officer tell his coworker? There was no amusing anecdote. DED men tell no tales.

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops