Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

A chicken walked into the bar...

Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

why did the boy drop his ice cream? he had no hands

What's funny about anti-jokes? Nothing.

Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

Knock Knock The homeowner's acquaintance had called him just minutes prior because he had forgotten something at his house. With this having occurred, the homeowner had a strong sense of who was at the door. Being a cautious person however, he checked his prediction by examining the man through the door's peephole. Having asserted that it was what he had in mind, the homeowner opened the door and handed him some papers that were of importance to the acquaintance.

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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