The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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What is the similarity between fake rings and your mother? They change colors in the shower

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and leave.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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Why didn't the boy get his mom anything for her birthday? He was killed by a drunk driver years ago

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Knock knock Who's there Bill Bill who? Bill Thompson

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Why couldn't the black man get his lawnmower to start? He was too poor to own a home =)

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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