Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

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Death by kayak

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, He gave me AIDS, And I gave them to you!

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Hello, nice to meet you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops