Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Three construction workers are high up on a building when they decide to take their lunch break there. The three open their respective lunches, converse pleasantly, and enjoy the fine weather.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Adam Fantuzzi's just jealous because he'll never be the man his mother is

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Person 1: want to hear a joke? person 2: yes.

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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Yo mama so poor that she's having trouble making ends meet without government assistance.

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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Whats worse than not having fun at a party? Getting so drunk at a party that you shat in your pants Whats worse than shatting in your pants at a party drunk? Shatting in you pants twice because you were so drunk again.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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