An Artic Storm.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

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Why celebrate your birthday, its just getting closer and closer the death.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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A grandma writes to her young grandson every day over e-mail with funny lines and pictures,He shows his parents a joke she sent him it reads- "A guy walks into a bar.. He says ouch" They then read on and call the police.They say "Son go to your room.. you're being stalked by a pedophile.. Your grandma has been dead since last year.. we are sorry"

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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Jesse is so fat, his weight on his scale says " hahaha gotta love childhood obesity"

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Dave: Hi John! John: I have Aids.

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What has two legs and bleeds alot? Half a cat!

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A chicken rode into town on a horse named Friday. He was later shot by a dyslexic Russian dinosaur.

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why did the kid get home from school early cause he was home from school..

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops