What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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what did the girl say after she got hit by a bus, nothing she was dead

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he dropped his ice cream

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I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Did you hear about the guy who got run over? Me neither

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Q:what's worse than eating outdated raviolis? A:terminal cancer.

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How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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What comes after 69? 70

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's working out.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How did the baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops