What is the difference between a dead baby and a mustang? I dont have a mustang in my garage.

What's the difference in a big brother and a wee brother? Ones big, ones small.

None of the sex jokes are not funny or not funny. They're just inappropriate.

why did your mum die young because she had canser

A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

whats the difference between a fur rug and a pile of dead babies? i dont lie on a fur rug to pleasure myself

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

What happened to the boy that got hit by a bus? He was by a 2nd bus, by which he felt no pain because the first bus crushed his lungs and skull causing suffocation and profuse hemorraging.

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Wanna hear a joke? Too bad.

it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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