A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

a man walks into a bar several people leave as they can see the potential danger in the situation. - the man (also so known as a hippo) was Matt Ross

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

Whats the difference between a falcon and a deer? both live in water, except for the falcon... oh, and the deer.

how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

what's worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings what's worse than 2 bee stings? the Holocaust. what's worse than the holocaust? 3 bee stings

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

knock knock Goodbye

What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

What do you call an argument between a Jew and a German? World War 2

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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