One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Why couldn't the Nativity have taken place in France? The winters are not warm enough to sleep in an animal cave without getting hypothermia, and there was no census taking place at the time.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What did the man's ex-wife told him after their divorce? "Build a bridge and get over did" And so he did because hes a contractor that specialized in structures spanning and providing passage over a gap or barrier, such as a river or roadway

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whats long and black? a baton

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What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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A: Knock Knock. B:Whose there? A:Jehovah witness!

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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If a white person and black person have a baby, what colour is the baby? Grey

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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How many lesbians dose it take to finish a pizza? One or unless she invites some freinds over.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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