Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Ben Affleck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops