Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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I fantasize about having sex with a moose

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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