Two crabs are standing on a wall. One of them falls down. The second one's name is Georges.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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A man name Bill works 12 hours a day at a warehouse, almost everyday a week. It is a hard job but Bill does it to support his beautiful wife of many years. Bill thinks the long hard days are worth every moment he gets to spend with her. One night, after a hard day, he comes home to find another man in bed with his wife. Bill begins to sob and yell "I work 12 hours a day at a warehouse....." His wife yells back. "We already read this part, get to the punchline".

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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spell backwards: taco cat

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What do you call a person who hammers a nail into his forehead? A dumbass.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Shit on her face

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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Two friends sit down at a table for lunch. One, in a very frustrated mood, says to the other, "You know what I don't get?" His friend immediately responds: "Sex."

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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why did the chicken cross the road i hate it when people ask questions they already know the answer to

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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Urban ghettos

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Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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