What screams when you poke it? A rape alarm.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

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Why was the boy so tired? He had to carry his moms dead body up the stairs.

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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-On a scale of one to ten, what's your favourite colour of the alphabet? -The answer is yes, because aliens don't wear hats.

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*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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Ben Affleck

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

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What's green and smells like a dirty whore? A dirty whore

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Jumping out of an airplane is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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autsim

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

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Roses are red, Violets are violet, hence the name Violets.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Whats worst than finding half a worm in your apple? Getting rapped by a giant scorpian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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