Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Why was the Microsoft fan happy? Because Steve Jobs died.

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but his stomach was not big enough to finish. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free meal.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar and says "Lipstick is the blood of all wounds." The bartender does not know how the kangaroo said this or why.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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why can't James swim at 2010 summer ? because james died at 2009

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When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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