Three baby seals walk into a club...

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings,whats worse than 2 bee stings? The holocaust Whats worse than the holocaust?.. 3 bee stings

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, one must question: 1. How much the electrician knows when it comes to screwing in lightbulbs. 2. The amount of electricians present at the scene. 3. The type of equipment being used in the process. 4. The physical and mental stability of the electrician. The situation is solely dependent on the above factors.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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