Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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