Jake: Where's Waldo Me: Where? Jake: I don't know

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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when debbie meets downer

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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Bob Saget

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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