Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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What is Dora the Explorer's favorite food? Pussy.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing you insensitive ass!

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Why did Bob scream "Nurrrrrrrrr!!"?.....because he was mentally challenged.

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Women's Rights

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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