how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Whats funnier than a dead baby tied to a tree? Everything, infant mortality is a very sad thing.

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What do you call a homeless man in Beverly Hills? Charles, Someone who unfortunately had to drop out of school at a young age to work to support his dying mother. Hence, later in life, after his mother died, lacked the education to be enrolled in college forcing him to pimp to make enough money to eat and pay for the rent in his one bedroom appartment in his hometown-Mississippi. But times were tough in Mississippi and not many people could afford a whore. This forces him to go all the way to California where he found more people there were willing to pay for a whore. Business was good and soon enough he had enough money for a decent condo. But Charles still morned the death of his mother. Eventually he couldn't take the daily pressure of being a pimp and thought of his mothers death, so he turned to heroin. Soon all his money was fueling his addiction and before he knew it he was on the street, with no one to help him and no where's to go. Every night he goes to sleep on his cardboard box with the memory of his late mother in the back of his head. Sometimes Charles wonders what he could of been if he didn't drop out of school, but he knows that what he did was the right thing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. They both died of blood loss.

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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yo mama is so ugly she walked by a mirror and looked at her reflection cuz thats what mirrors do

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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