If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Black people being friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little girl lose her necklace? Because she got her head blown off

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the fireman go to the police station? He didn't go to the police station, he went to the fire station.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +18

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A dog walks into a bar. It was a bar in Taiwan, so they killed it and ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops