Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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So a baby seal walks into a club...

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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Whats funnier then a dead baby? A lot of things.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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my whole life!

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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The truth is he loves her!!

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What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'd would like to make a wager. The bartender replies, "no."

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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