Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a protocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "We don't serve their kind here! They'll have to wait outside. We don't want them here." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Listen, why don't you wait out by the speeder. We don't want any trouble."

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

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What did the faggot say? Nothing, he shot himself due to high school bullying and rejecting parents.

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A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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What did the monkey say to the African American? Monkeys cannot speak, therefore it would not be able to communicate with an African American, who is an equally respected member of the community, in an efficient way.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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Did you hear about the young couple that confused K-Y jelly with window caulking? All their windows fell out.

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Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

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OMG FUCKING NERDS WITH NO LIFE CAN READ ABOUT THE POWER OF YOUR Vaginal puss puss color, no but seriously, I kinda prefer unshaven, I mean if I change my opinion I just do it myself or command that you shave yourself while I put it on my cellphone while I jack off to you, making a creampie, yeah because.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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