I'd rather kill myself than commit suicide.

How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

knock knock whos there open open who the door

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

Hi, my name is Jake.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

What did the blind, deaf and mute kid get for Christmas? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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