Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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The man and the women were doing something. What are you looking? They just talked

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park seat? A park seat can support a family

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Chris:"knock, knock" Rhianna:"owwww..." Chris:"open da door" Rhianna:"so u can punch me in the face" Chris:"duhhh, I jus got brass knuckles"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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Yo mama so fat, when she went to a party, they took the apple from the roast pig's mouth, and they put it on her mouth.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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What did the doctor tell his patient? Unfortunately you have cancer.

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops