What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

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Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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roses are red, violets are blue, your boyfriends thinks i'm hot that's why he dumped you

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more ibuprofen...

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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Why did Captain Obvious crossed the road? Because that's the name of the chicken

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dont be afraid of lard squeezing cause really its just me teasing

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Why did the fat kid rob a pizza shop? Because he happened to like pizza.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

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A man walked into a bar Ouch!

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops