Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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anti-joke.com

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

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Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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What's a black man's favorite fruit? Clementines.

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Once upon a time, The end.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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How do you cheat your friend up Throw a BRIC at her face.

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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