So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

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What do you get when ned puts toast in the toaster? A fucking massive sperm whale.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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two paraplegics walk into a bar. oh wait...

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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why did justin go to maddie parris house to fuck her.....

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Why did the hooker cross the road? Because was a prostitute

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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What's a stupid joke on anti-joke? One that involves a random number with absolutely no meaning

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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What do you call a frog with a bow tie? Cute!

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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