How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde. A: Put her in a circular room and tell her to pee in the corner. Q: How does a blonde confuse you? A: She says she's done.

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

full house should of been called black jack, because the Olsen twins started getting hit on at age 8 and didn't stop til they were 21

roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

How did the Holocaust start? Hitler threw a penny into the oven

If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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